Pita pizzas are a new go-to dish at Chez Groovy Chef… They’re fun, delicious, and different every time. DIFFICULTY: If you know your way around vegetables, this is a cinch.
COOKING TIME: Roughly 10 Isaac Hayes songs
RECOMMENDED DRINK: Cheap white wine will do if classed up with a splash of crème de wild cherry.
What you’ll need:
- Pitas
- 2 large onions, carmelized
- 1 zucchini & 1 yellow squash , sliced into long wedges (slice lengthwise and then slice into long, diagonal strips)
- 1 red and 1 yellow pepper, julienned
- ½ cup sundried tomatoes, in thinly sliced ribbons
- 2 tomatoes, sliced
- Tomato sauce
- 1½ c. romano cheese, grated
- olive oil
- garlic
- thyme
- rosemary
- salt and pepper
Other fun ingredients: lightly sautéed mushrooms, sautéed spinach, sun dried tomatoes, or chopped black olives
For the optimal cooking experience, you should also have:
- Fulfillingness First Finale by Stevie Wonder
- I’m Still in Love with You by Al Green
- Hot Buttered Soul by Isaac Hayes
And here’s how it’s done:
1. The first step is the longest… caramelizing your onions.
This leaves plenty of time to find a good record. We recommend Stevie Wonder’s Fulfillingness First Finale. The Groovy Chef says that, though this is only Stevie Wonder’s fifth best record, it still has love songs that rival Bach and Mozart. One such song is “Boogie On, Reggae Woman,” one of the funkiest songs ever written. “It’s like Parliament and Duke Ellington smashed together on trains. And the sound the angels heard… was this song.”
2. Next, place your peppers, zucchini, and yellow squash in a pan. Drizzle with olive oil and mix. Add to the oven to roast at 425 degrees for 15-20 minutes, until the veggies begin to brown around the edges.
As your veggies roast, it's time to announce that “Operation Groovy is in full effect” and put on Al Green, preferably “I’m Still in Love with You” from the similarly-titled album. The GC assures me this song “sounds like what pork smells like when you’re cooking it.”
Once your toppings are ready, it’s time to assemble the pitzas!
3. Brush olive oil on the bottom of each pita.
4. Spread about 2/3 tbsp of tomato sauce on the top of each pita, leaving a rim around the edge for the crust.
5. Pile on your veggies and onions. Feel free to mix and match. Each pitza can be different.
6. Add cheese, thyme, rosemary, salt, and pepper.
7. Bake each batch of pitzas for 8 minutes at 450. You should have enough ingredients to make 4-5 pitzas.
Baking your pitzas takes time, and your “funkgasm” won’t be complete without a little Isaac Hayes. If you have Hot Buttered Soul, you may want to go straight to “Hyperbolicsyllabicsesquedalymistic.” This song will have you instantly weaving and writhing ala Kate Bush to really work up your appetite. However, don’t try to download this song via a smart phone because, as the GC told me, “the funk don’t fit” over 3G.
Happy eating!
